Teenage Dreams

 

This morning was funny. I was half awake, making myself a “grilled” cheese sandwich, and i remembered something that happened a bajillion years ago.

 

I dont even remember now if i had a weird dream about Howard Dwaine Wright Dorough (yeah, bring on the banter!!!) but i must’ve had some subconscious relapse of some sort to have remembered this one really amazing night when i was 13 or 14.

 

I really dont remember if it was freshman year in HS or 7th grade. But, it was at that year when i had just almost given up on this long-ass fanfiction series that i was writing for my friends.

 

**major cheese alert warning. dont say you weren’t warned.**

 

in 7th grade, i wrote a series of fanfiction about The Moffatt brothers and Gil Ofarim with characters I created based on my friends and certain real events that happened when my classmate met the Moffatt boys personally.

I went to a concert, on a whim, with two of my friends. I say it was on a whim, but really, I had time to make an “artful” drawing of Gil Ofarim with a dirty (and probably non-coherent) German translation of The Moffatts’ song, Written All Over my Heart. It was on one of those illustration boards, you know, those cheesy ones teenyboppers would make for their boyband crushes. yeah, i made one of those. Schriftlich Ganz Uber Mein Herz. I had my little yellow (probably outdated) English-German dictionary and I translated the lyrics painfully. But of course, during that time, i KNEW i was doing it out of love and devotion to this beautiful blue-eyed boy.

So we went, and he was there, and it was a very intimate concert hall. My friend had let me borrow one of her platform ankle-high lace-up boots (Remember, this was also during the height of the Spice Girls’ career so platform boots were the best thing ever) so it gave it about a few inches above the rest of the audience.

And so he did this thing, he did a couple of his old songs. And then he played something I heard about two nights ago thru this radio show interview he did.

“Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a color TV ?
Dialing For Dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh Lord, won’t you buy me a color TV ?”

 

What do you know, the magic of Bing. All these years i thought he made up that song on his own and i find out just now that this is Janis Joplin.

 

Anyway, so he started the song, right? And here i was, getting in the moment and started singing along, thinking everyone was gonna do the same. But no! I was the only one singing. And i was singing at the very top of my lungs. and i was about 2-3-4 people away from him and he looked straight at me. No, No. I was not imagining it. He WAS looking at me. And my friend saw, and a couple other girls saw, and then… HE WINKED AND POINTED AT ME. Yes, people, i am not making this up. For that fleeting moment, i was in heaven. Staring at his baby blue eyes, for a moment, he saw me. And I was that awkward 13 year old girl with big brown deer eyes which i swore had tears in them too. Oh, man, was i in love.

 

Check out that last paragraph, how extremely elementary the writing pattern is. Unnecessary caps lock and all :) 

 

So i have this video of how i started crushing on this hunksicle. Check out 1:58 when it turns into a class portrait (or family, whichever suits you) of some sorts.

 

 

Then there’s this video, a couple years and a lot of inches of hair shed after, which i have seen a while ago but i’ve never shared on any of my other blogs.

 

 

Crushes will always be crushes, but this guy holds a special place in my heart just because for one fleeting moment, we shared an amusing experience. Oh, of course i know that he never even remembers that instance. But it’s still a happy thought, isnt it?

 

**

 

dark staircases and empty bathroom stalls

guitar riffs and that steady bass drum

screaming prepubescent girls

 

your sky blue eyes drown everything.

 

and i made you smile.

 

**

 

© Maia Vida : September 8, 2010

morning after

I’ve found a way around my laziness towards this project. On my way home, when I drive to work, I always have my iPod playing in the car. These past few posts I’ve done were songs that played next in my car. I cant use the first song that plays, because I’ve already heard it prior to leaving the car. So, I’ve used the next one that plays.

 

Tonight’s song, comes as a fun surprise. The other day, my friend Gwen tells me that she saw a familiar character as she passed by the mirror. I had quite a clear vision of what she saw too. It was all too sweet to pass up. So, I smiled like no one’s business tonight when this song was next.

 

I swear, Gwen, I did NOT skip or choose this song 😉

 

This is a response to this previously written story.

 

***

 

This face staring back at me, there’s a certain familiarity to it. I know she’s been long lost, but behind these fake eyelashes and thick eyeshadow, I see her.

 

The last time these eyes have smiled was a thousand years ago. When the night breeze was calm and the snow was perfectly pristine outside the tower’s floor-length windows, I remember how these eyes glimmered at the sight of your handsome face.

 

You carried a tune, while J.K. and Alex played the piano and the guitar. It might have been the night before Christmas, or some other glorious night before or after that, when the House decided it would be fun to have an impromptu dance, just to have a reason to sneak in some Firewhiskey and have the house elves bring in sweets and treats. There weren’t a lot of us left in the Tower. And we all had our dress gowns.

 

I still remember how frail you looked. It was just a few days after the full moon. You were still quite an enamoring sight. And I had to blame my blushing on too much Firewhiskey and Butterbeer. The girls knew better.

 

How Lae managed to get us to dance, I have no idea. But she would not let the night end without you having your hand against my bare back, against my cold skin. The skin where you have touched me shall remain warm forevermore. That part of me will remember your touch, as everything about me will know how I cannot have you.

 

I could never have you.

 

As I made my way out of Hog’s Head and into the darkness last night, a familiar figure cast a shadow against the full moon. I felt no need to turn to see who it was, for I would know that foreboding shadow anywhere.

 

“Funny I should see you here tonight.”

“Funny how you can still find anything funny despite the Dark times.”

“I merely thought you would be, celebrating I think would be an appropriate word for the occasion.”

 

There was a sneer in his voice, and the pause had been so intentional, I had to know it did not mean anything good.

 

“Celebrating what, exactly?”

“Or should I say mourning? I don’t know. I can’t keep track anymore whether you hate him or love him.”

 

I must have pulled out my wand so fast because I saw his sneer quiver.

 

“Spit it out, Snape. Or I swear-“

“Your Remus, and your niece. The werewolf found a lovely housewife.” My wand hand fell a couple of inches away from his neck. And I knew that my eyes had flickered for a moment. “Halfbreeds copulating. Isn’t it lovely?”

 

Perhaps it just easy to say I do not remember what happened next, or how I woke up in my own bed today. Staring into this majestic mirror, I see her again. That young and uninhibited girl who was careless with her act. Careless because she could not stay in character, especially around that boy with the reckless charm. Careless, because despite the years gone by, it still pains her that she missed her chance with him.

 

***

 

*of course, Firewhiskey, Butterbeer, House Elves, Hog’s Head, Snape, Remus, are not mine. They are by JK Rowling, and I claim no rights against it. Merely borrowed 🙂

 

**All other characters that are unfamiliar are mine and my friends’ 🙂 and yes, there’s a backstory to this.

 

© Maia Vida : August 5, 2010