Let Go

Song: You Can Let Go
Artist: Backstreet Boys

I can see in your eyes
Broken windows, fallen skies
Baby, baby what you hidin’ from
The light that followed you around
Lately nowhere to be found
Don’t you know that I’m your place to run

You been holding on so long
Tryin’ to make believe that nothing’s wrong
Not letting it show
And there ain’t nothing you can do
To make me turn away from you
I need you to know
That you can let go

Sifting through shattered dreams
Livin’ in the in between
Baby, babe it’s gonna be alright
(You can let go)
When you’re lost, let down, disappointed
And jerked around in this cold, cold world
I will always be by your side

You been holding on so long
Tryin’ to make believe that nothing’s wrong
Not letting it show
There ain’t nothin’ you can do
To make me turn away from you
I need you to know
That you can let go

Don’t be afraid when you’re falling apart
Don’t hesitate I’ll be right where you are
Open your eyes there’s a crack in the dark

You never let me see you cry
You locked it somewhere deep inside
Baby, baby let me hold you tight
Make it alright

Baby, baby gonna be alright
Cause I’m by your side
When the whole world turns against you (I won’t turn against you)
Not letting it show
Baby, babe gonna be alright
Cause I’m by your side
When the whole world turns against you
You can let go

You been holding on so long
Tryin’ to make believe that nothing’s wrong
Not letting it show
You can let go
There ain’t nothing you can do
To make me turn away from you
I need you to know

**

This is why I love the boys.

First time i saw them live, I was crying the whole time they sang this. actually, i was crying half the show. But when they did this song, i was just like that 10yr old depressed little girl who didnt know what to do with herself. and the words just got to me. it was a nice song when i first heard it, but when they were singing it, it felt like a warm hug from a long lost friend. like sitting quietly somewhere, not talking, just spending time together.

Thinking about it now, i really loved that piece of field behind the new HS building at st. paul. i would spend times there, nurturing my wild imagination. it was also by that field that some really precious moments of my life happened.

**

The breeze blew calmer this time of the year. Every blade of grass swayed  along with the changes of the breeze. Left to right, light to dark. I have never been more enchanted by this field more than i am right now.

Today has been really eye-opening. I walked out of a bad argument and I think i’ve lost a friend. It’s something like this that makes me want to shut out the world and keep to myself. Thinking about it more, turns out, i need my friend more than my friend needs me.

And I’m too selfish to say it out loud.

I fold my legs closer to my chest and wrap my arms around myself. It looks like rain. The grass even feels moist against my body. I wish it would fall soon. I find that this place is starting to adapt to me. Its catching up. Soon, it’ll be able to keep up with me and my emotions. And I wont have to keep running away.

I rest my chin on my right shoulder, close my eyes, and feel the cool breeze envelope me. It’s telling me that this is out of my hands, and that i need to brace myself for tomorrow. Later, after i’ve withdrawn myself from this solemn place, I know it will be hard. There will be things that I will never be able to control. Most of them include the people around me. Much like this field. I can sit amongst them, but i will never be one of them. I will never know how it feels like to be them. I cant fully understand them. And i cant expect them to fully understand me.

That is why I dont need to be thinking too much. Just like how I am right now, sitting her, letting my hair dance with the winds. I need to let things happen the way they ought to. They will turn dark, and I will feel lonely. But I need to let things happen.

The first drops of rain had fallen against my face. There’s no sense in running. In two seconds, I will be soaked. So i just keep still and let the rain find me.

© Maia Vida : January 19, 2010